The times we are living in are challenging for all of us and we have all had to constantly refocus to changing circumstances. Let’s face it, most of us love being in our comfort zone and we see change as a threat to that comfort zone we love so much. I’m a big believer that “everything happens for a reason” and even before this world pandemic happened, I noticed a lot of us doing a 360 on our lives already. I feel as if humans collectively asked for all of this change, but again, we see it as a threat because it’s making us leave our comfort zones and challenging us, meaning we want things to change without putting in the work that change requires. This is the thing, if you ask for change that means you will have to face obstacles because in order for that change to occur previous ways have to be disrupted and re-programed. There’s a great shift in energy going around and creating something better means old ways, old things have to be taken out in order to make room for everything new. You can see how this works mentally and physically. When you fix your house, your old things are probably getting in the way of making your home feel less clutter, now look at this mentally. So many thoughts and emotions clutter our minds, therefore, we need to learn to let go of the old to accept the new. Accepting the new means you open the door to an infinite amount of possibilities that will have you saying, “what was I doing back there?!” but that can’t happen until you accept and welcome change into your life.  

Easier said than done right!? We love our comfort zones so much because facing anything new means facing the unknown, the uncertainty, and that means less control which creates a big pot of fear. We’ve been pretty much programmed that way, or maybe it’s just human instinct. Wherever it came from I believe we can face our fears and neutralize our relationship with it. Feelings and emotions are part of being human so when you fight against them, you’re fighting against being you. Accepting how we feel is simply accepting who you are. We sometimes go into these never-ending circles of literally feeling bad about feeling bad about ourselves and it gets us nowhere. Have you tried telling yourself it’s ok to feel sad today, it’s okay to feel fear right now, it’s ok I have anger right now? Accept it. Don’t fight it. When we fight it, we create anxiety and suppression and there can’t be real change within ourselves that way. When someone goes into an AA meeting for example, what is one of the first things they need to do? “Hi, I’m _____ and I’m an alcoholic” in that moment you have accepted the circumstances and you can begin that change that you want. Of course, all of this takes time. Perhaps the first AA meeting won’t get you to change much but here are keyways that have helped me see change in a different light that can maybe help you too.  

PLANT THE SEEDS

The moment you become conscious enough that you want change because things aren’t working out you have officially planted the seed in your mind. Once you are conscious of wanting that change things will start to manifest physically. It means you have planted an idea that you will be consciously and unconsciously looking for now. For example, if you say I want to care more about the earth you will start seeing things you didn’t before, like going out to eat and using a plastic straw is not going to feel the same anymore. You have brought that idea of change in your mind now it’s there to stay. Doing things that you use to do that go against that new idea you planted will not be the same anymore. You’re probably not going to like in the beginning because again, we really wish change came with comfort but by now we should know it doesn’t work that way.  

CHOOSE WHAT YOU LOVE

Ok, but how do we even get to the point of wanting change in our lives for a better you, a better world? I started to realize how my decision making was based so much on fear. Making decisions primarily based on fear wasn’t allowing me to do what I really wanted to do. I had planted my seeds of wanting my own business a long time ago, back in middle school to be exact. Before I took the leap of faith to making this happen I had a “safe, stable” job, I put these words in quotes because if we’ve learned anything from this pandemic is that no matter how much you plan to make things safer and stable anything can happen to override that and it can go south really fast! Both my parents lost their “safe, stable” jobs after working there for more than 20 years and being loyal employees! In that “safe, stable” job I left, they didn’t want to let me go and even offered me a better position and more money. The first time I tried leaving, I’m not going to lie the higher pay got me to stay there longer! But it wasn’t long enough before feeling I was putting a price to my dreams. Where I was at, was not where I wanted to be no matter the pay. The seeds had been planted and the manifestation of me leaving that job became real. I feared letting go of the job, I feared financially, I feared it not working out, in my head I heard “being an artist is not practical or stable” I feared so much! In reality nothing is truly stable and safe, and I had to accept that if I was going to plunged into all this. Basing my decision out of fear and deciding to take that extra money to continue to feel safe, aka staying in my comfort zone, was me not letting me be me. Your dreams are what you love, what you truly want to do is that that you dream of and my heart told me to choose what I love. So, I did, I choose love.

SOMETHING IS BETTER THAN NOTHING

Ask yourself, how do you do your decision making? What is driving you to make that decision right now? Don’t get me wrong as you saw in my story, it consisted of about 15 years to get where I am now nothing is going to happen from one day to another. The important thing here is the initiation and the rooting of your seeds. They will grow. When I hear someone taking the first steps to creating that change in their lives, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT! I get happy even if I hardly talk to that person and just want to cheer them on! Because I know how much of a challenge it is and that’s when people need the most encouragement. When you go ahead and start acting on what you want, the challenges you are faced with can seem more like a bunch of obstacles that make it seem nearly impossible at times. You start questioning yourself again if what you’re doing was the right thing and can feel discourage and just want to give up. I’ve been there so many times! I have to go back and remind myself that this wasn’t something that I wanted just last month it’s been there for years! It’s been in my heart for so long and if I understand that nothing is perfect why should I give up a dream when those challenges are presented to me? Remember, even when you choose what you don’t love you’re still going to face challenges so might as well face the challenges towards something you truly do love!

When you are overwhelmed with challenges that’s when baby steps will keep you going. Remember this is NOT a race and who’s going to get there faster. Respect your pace and remember your worth is not based on how efficient you are because your mental health matters here too. It’s easy to get lost in all the chaos when you take on too much and can result in affecting your own mental health. If you’re choosing what you love, you want to enjoy the journey as much as you can and not sabotage it by overwhelming yourself.  Baby steps means that doing something is better than nothing. I think I can write a whole blog on that phrase because I have a long history of it, but I’ll leave that convo for later! For now, doing something, ANYHING! will allow you to see progress in the long run. I like talking about boycotting straws as an example even though many find it ridiculous because it’s this small piece of plastic and how much of a difference can it make in a plastic world right? Imagine you, one person decides to stop using straws for the rest of your life, completely stop using this tiny little piece of plastic. Do you realize how many straws you would have avoided using in a lifetime? Do you know how much plastic that is? That’s a significant amount of plastic off our planet. How about one day of the year everyone on earth doesn’t use a straw that day, can you image how much plastic that would be! What I’m trying to say here is your baby steps might seem like nothing but in the long run they sum up and go along way. So always remember, in your journey of life through change something will always be better than nothing even if it is in the tiniest of ways.

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We humans let fear control so much of our lives specially right now. If you live here in the USA the November presidential elections is promoting so much fear and leading us to vote based on fear that if you don’t vote for this side you should fear this will happen and if you don’t vote for the other side you should fear that will happen! All of this topped with the fear of potentially loosing or dying from a virus. Ask yourself, if fear is promoted everywhere I go, how much more fear do I need to carry? Be mindful that there’s no such thing as a fearless life, but you can learn to neutralize fear by comforting it and not letting it stop you. There are so many misleading quotes out there saying “live a fearless life” “be happy”, you can’t always be fearless like you can’t always be happy every second of your life. By accepting that reality, those not so happy moments or fearful moments will no longer affect you the same way they once did. You will then have learned to neutralize fear and have created a better balance within yourself. It’s ok to take precautions and to be rational because probably quitting your job right now might not seem ideal. Simply ask for that change plant the seeds and the right time will present itself to you in different forms like even getting laid off might be the chance to make that change you’ve been asking for! once you plant the seeds of what change you want in your life work towards it and slowly it will start manifesting itself.

We are humans of love, and love is where our true self comes from. Fear comes from insecurities that take you down a spiral of other emotions like hate and sadness. Know that your essence is love and your peace of mind comes from love. That’s why choosing love is the only guidance you truly need specially in a place where fear is constantly being presented to you. With this pandemic giving us the chance to slow down maybe this is the time you can ask yourself of where you stand and what are the changes you want in your life. I believe this is the perfect time for many. Welcome change into your life and choose what you love. When you choose love, you’re creating a better you and better world for all.

Thank you for making for being here! Your attention and time are greatly appreciated here!

Stay kind, stay safe, and stay ZEN!

Love,

Zenia